Likewise, children are usually worse housekeepers than men. That might not seem possible, but remember, these are the same little darlings that consider mud pies a food group and bathing optional. Children are usually so caught up with learning and having fun that housework comes in as a distant priority or no priority at all.

Part of this is because you will pick up the slack for everyone, either doing a chore outright or going over work that was done and redoing it “right.” While this makes sense on one level, it actually contributes to the overall problem because the other members of the household learn that mom will pick up the slack, so why bother knocking yourself out? When this mentality takes over, housework suffers or even ceases to be done properly.

Thus, the first step to helping a family or significant other relearn good “home habits” is to stop covering for them. Too many times, when something is not done well – laundry is not done, dishes are not cleaned well or the bathroom starts to resemble a primordial swamp, the female in the house will jump to the rescue. This only reaffirms the bad behavior and to get it to stop, you have to learn to let them figure out for themselves that certain chores have to be done in a certain way and up to a certain level of quality in order to play the role they are supposed to play in an orderly clean household.

This means that you will also have to accept levels of cleanliness that are usually less than what they are used to accepting. Let’s face it, no one can match “mom’s level” of clean. It is just not possible.

Appreciating the Effort and Accepting the Outcome… Within Reason

First, you have to accept that as long as the situation is not unhealthy, a lesser level of thoroughness is acceptable, if not preferable. Eventually, if you accept this or point out little ways to “improve” the chore, the person doing the chore will adopt their own level of expertise and standards of a job well done. Frequently, when this is the progression of things, that level becomes as rigid, or in some cases, more rigid than if you did the chore herself.

Accepting a lesser standard is not accepting “less than perfect.” In some cases, like in cleaning dishes, there can be no wavering in what is expected because not doing a good job can lead to illness. In most cases, however, accepting a job that is not up to your natural level of expectations does not mean that the job was not done properly, it just means that the job was done differently. 

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