Remember the words of some nameless sage that almost all of us have heard at one time or another in one iteration or another:

“Often, it is not what you say, but how you say it.”

Assessment and Adjustment

After the first week, whenever your “team” starts to get into a routine and starts to jell, just like a football coach, you have to reassess and make adjustments. Maybe your husband should work with your youngest doing dishes. Maybe you and your eldest should clean the bathroom. Maybe things are just fine the way they are, but you need help in other areas. Once you get them thinking in terms of a team, you will be surprised at how well things work and what they will also be willing to assume in addition to what they already are doing.

At the end of the week, hold an informal “family meeting” and discuss what is working and what needs more tinkering. Ask them what chores they enjoy doing and what chores they hate. See if one child likes to do the dishes and one likes to clean up and vacuum, and then assign them those chores according to their preferences. This ensures that everyone is working on tasks that they can do and will enjoy doing. 

Additionally, critiquing the quality of the work done is important as it will give everyone a sense of what is expected. Do not, however, be overly critical. Remember that you are letting some stuff slide to gain their willing help. Always make sure that you are positive in your comments, even if you have a real problem with the way something is done. Also, make sure that you do not redo their work – that is condescending to them and it lets them know that if they just wait long enough, they will not have to do something as you will pick up the slack.

Effective Ways to Motivate Your Children

Like any good team, your family plays a role in your life and theirs that will furnish your children with life skills and the ability to cope when they become adults. It is very important that those values that help make a person a positive member of society are instilled and reinforced early and often. You cannot rely on your children to pick them up on their own.

That means you need to not only teach them how to do something, but also explain why it is important in the larger picture. You could explain, for example, that you wash dishes thoroughly because that way you will not get sick from germs or bacteria. You can explain that not only is a clean bathroom better looking and smelling, it is important because of hygiene related sicknesses and health threats like mold.

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